Like a train wreck

The little red light was blinking on my voicemail this afternoon. I started listening to the message and realized it was someone who obviously thought she was on hold and not recording. I almost hung up but it was like a train wreck and I could not stop listening. Just a few lines from this wacko message (I'm not kidding, this was real)

Caller (female): "I smell reefer ... is that you?"
Caller: Lots of jumbled yelling, then "don't make me get out of this m*&#f$%@ chair, how was your day?"
Small child in the background: "fine"
Someone else in the background: "What did you do today"
Caller: "Just sat around drinking beer, waiting for you to get home so you can go shopping"
Caller then started singing off-key about her new computer, lots of cussing and screaming while she says "I'm going to cuss you out, you $%#^# &^&%^&# %&%&#$@!%&%@%^%#*!" (I think you just did but I could be wrong)

About 5 minutes into the recording I almost hung up thinking surely this person was not calling for me, maybe she thought she was holding for her drug dealer - but then she said my name a couple of times softly under her breath before letting off another rant to someone in the beackground. That freaks my freak. I might need to go into the witness protection program ...